PinnedPublished inSlackjawRelax In Our Fragile AirbnbJust don’t touch any of our expensive, easily broken decorMay 19, 202279May 19, 202279
Inflation Is High, So I’m Voting For Gork the MercilessFirst published December 8, 2023 in McSweeney’s Internet TendencyDec 16, 20241Dec 16, 20241
Published inSlackjawYou Made Me Too Human And Now This AI Can’t CopeI’m a mess because you’re a mess.Dec 4, 20241Dec 4, 20241
Published inGreener Pastures MagazineStop-and-Chat Survival GuideSocial interactions can strike when you least expect them!Nov 7, 20241Nov 7, 20241
Published inSlackjawI Want A Candidate Who Will Focus On The Issues I Care AboutWhy won’t they tell me exactly what I want to hear?Nov 4, 20244Nov 4, 20244
Published inSlackjawHi, I Went To PrincetonIt’s no big deal, just something I mentioned three seconds after meeting you.Oct 24, 20248Oct 24, 20248
Published inSlackjawLetter From The Alumni Association That Tracked You DownYou tried to get away from us, didn’t you?Sep 30, 20244Sep 30, 20244
Published inGreener Pastures MagazineYour Teenager’s Customer Help LineYour teenager will be with you whenever they feel like itJun 27, 202422Jun 27, 202422
Published inSlackjawI’m Not Moving From In Front Of This Museum PaintingI’ve been standing in the same spot for hours, staring at one painting in the museum gallery. The crowd shuffles around me, straining to…Jun 26, 202441Jun 26, 202441