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Entrepreneur Seeks Low-Paid Assistant to Read His Mind
Applicants must be motivated, creative, and telepathic.
First published March 22, 2022 in Points In Case
CrunchSource is seeking a high-performing professional to work closely with our Founder without directions, objectives, or clear explanations.
The Executive Assistant will perform a variety of business and personal tasks without being told what they are. We’re looking for the right perfectionist empath who never makes mistakes because they know what everyone’s thinking at all times.
Applicants should thrive in a fast-paced environment where no one tells them what’s going on. We’re looking for a problem-solver with a team-centered approach and supernatural powers. Ideal candidates will also be able to predict the future, alter the flow of time, and control things like the departure of airplanes the Founder is at risk of missing.
CrunchSource is on a mission to disrupt media across multiple platforms with integrated tools that empower stakeholders with industry-leading innovation and customer-focused design. You won’t need a mission statement any clearer than that, as you can read our minds for more information.
