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Trillionaires Help So Many While Raking in Trillions
Why is everyone against them?
First published January 25, 2022 in Robot Butt
A grateful world thanks its beloved trillionaires, who do so much good while obscenely enriching themselves. So claims a new report from the Institute for Limitless Acquisition, a trillionaire-funded thinktank launched by warbot mogul Lazarus Whiff.
The report, titled, “An Endless Hellscape of Suffering: Imagining a World Without Trillionaires,” interviewed three psychotically covetous resource-hoarders — every American trillionaire except autonomous womb magnate Anton Lutz, who is suing Whiff for putting autonomous wombs on his warbots.
“I’m not copying Lutz’ idea, because anyone would’ve thought of it,” Whiff insisted in Time magazine’s “End of the World” issue. “Obviously, you’d want your warbots to gestate human soldiers while they’re fighting. It’s just common sense.”
Lutz’ own thinktank, the Center for Insatiable Accumulation, is best known for publishing, The Three Habits of Highly Successful Trillionaires (“1. Make money. 2 . Make more money. 3. Build penis-shaped rocket ships.”)
The report begins, “We shudder to think what life would be like without our cherished trillionaires, or the inadvertent discoveries made aboard…
