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Wizard Store Owner Insists Wizard Robes Not Just for Wizards

They add wizard flair to any wardrobe!

James Klein
4 min readFeb 25, 2022
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First published February 23, 2022 in Robot Butt

People think you have to be a wizard to wear a wizard robe, which has got to be the only reason I haven’t sold any. But it’s not true — wizard robes are also great for cult leaders, cosplaying Harry Potter fans, or any middle-aged guy who opens a wizard-themed store when their marriage falls apart!

A wizard robe will amaze and impress your friends, family, and coworkers who wear wizard robes. You’ll stand out in a crowd, as the crowd will avoid you. People you don’t even know will stop and stare at you on the street!

I should know, I own the Wizard Castle store. I have worn a wizard robe every day for thirteen years, and look at me — I own a store!

Wizard robes are breezy, alluring, and mysterious. “What’s he hiding under that robe?” people will wonder. They might even ask you, or they might be afraid of you — it really says more about them than it does about your wizard robe.

Wherever you go, you’ll be the center of attention! People can’t help asking questions about a wizard robe, like “Why?” and “Seriously?”

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James Klein
James Klein

Written by James Klein

My dog thinks I’m cool. Humor in McSweeney’s, Slackjaw, Points in Case, Greener Pastures, and others. All of it at jameskleinhumor.com.

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